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What is it like to have depression and Anxiety?Having both is like having a shadow monster at your ankle, never leaving you alone, always attacking you at night, only letting you sleep to have nightmares or night terrors, if you ever go outside even for an hour, the monster will point out every time someone looks at you, everytime time someone smiles at you or even walks past you, you then start to think all the negative and worry and/or panic about the little stupid things. It’s like the only time you feel safe is when you’re lost in your own little world away from all the darkness and horror and troubles and monsters. No matter what anyone says to you, “you’ll get better”, “your fine” “stop moping about you look happy” these words are foreign to you, you don't know how to cope, you seem to be always lost. And as the months…years go by, it only gets worse, the monster grows, the monster invites more monster to join it, and before you know it all your dream
i like drawing and creating art..
but these days it seems to be going nowhere
Too many people are staring into the "professional digital artworks"
What about us?
the non professional ones?
We work just as hard to make our work
We all have dreams to use our art skills throughout our lives
I barely get any feedback these days.. the most ive gotten is 2 or 3 people (if that)
If nothing is going to take me somewhere
If no person is going to look or notice
If the creative ones get passed, un-noticed..
Should i even bother to continue creating my works?
I know theyre not the -professional digital art- or the -professional traditional art-
But in a whole its the best its creator can do.
i am also speaking for those who wonder like me,
Why is it that nearly (if not all) the attention are only focused on those who do courses, on those whom seem professional in their field, who do concepts for games/movies.
Why not rest of us?
We put just as much hard work
We spend just as mu
Im still aliveI only just realized how long it has been since i last posted a picture.. o.0
Not that anyone cared or noticed...>.>
Been busy with alot of things including making more NEW (epicness) artworks,
Ill upload them when i have the time
Which is idk when..
My tumblr URL has changed if your interested.
Me Tumblr.. warning it has LOTSA rave lights.
Feel free to follow me and i shall follow you back.
Please read my post on questions as i am allowing each person to ask me at the most 30 questions.
Because i simple adore being asked things.
Read the post on the main page for more info.
Llama love all around
WallpapersEver saw a picture of yourself, a group of friends, or just something you adore and wanted it to be your wallpaper but nicely edited?
Well i now do that for you at no cost at all~
The above links are 2 that ive done for my mates on Facebook.
Your requested photo(s) can be of anything but NO NUDES!
Either link me the photo or email it to me.
If going to email, send me an inbox then i shall give it the contact to send to.
Each wallpaper takes about 15-30mins to make, so youll have it quickly.
Once completed i will upload, link you the page then viola!
One's DisguiseCreature stalking
Is it imaginary, is it real
Is it something more..or less
We may never know..
Glistening red eyes of horror
Fanged jaw with evil happy grin
To crawl among dreams
To grow in Nightmare
Speaks of words with disturbing effect in unknown language of our own.
To be tall, bone skinned, 2wings of a dying dove
A mind like a zombie
A heart of broken steel
To whisper in one's sleep
To breathe into your soul
To disturb your thinking
Wishing it had some happiness.. to feel alive like it once did.
Blackened spiked tail
Spine jiggered and bare
Hugging you with sense of fear, yet you feel like you know well
It's memories drapes your flashbacks
Thinking through...long and hard
Eyes open wide with shock and confusion
To see who this monster really is, to see it never a monster.
But an old friend caught in their own nightmare's disguise
Seeking help, lost everywhere, turning more
Where there is no cure but to destroy the Nightma
TUMBLRRRRRRRI has a tumblr
*feels proud & part of world again*
My tumblr contains my artwork and my photography with more of both being added soons.
ASK MEH stuff on it.. or the zombies will rape your butt!
Please follow and ill follow you :3
Courses? Plz help!Im slowly getting into doing digital painting/drawing and im really enjoying it,
but i would like to do a course (preferable online because things at home arnt good)
Ive been looking through the internet and not so sure as to which one to pick.
Any recommendations as to what course would be best for me?
Also any particular digital-paint programs/soft wares that would help me?
awsomenessWell finally home from my trip. The 5hour plane flight was pretty okay.
Im open for any commissions and/or requests. (I cannot do humans - absolutely suck at them - lol)
I will be submitting again very soon.
Have alot of drawing ideas and some WIP to upload, so there'll be something to see very soons. ^.^
Will you be my friend?The funny thing about people knowing you, is that many people want to be your friend.
"Will you be my friend?" is one those questions I get the most.
It's also one the questions I have to answer with a negative answer the most, because I don't like lying to people.
Like I've told in some of my earlier journals, my life didn't overflow with friendship nor popularity when I was younger. It was quite the contrary. I wasn't anything near popular, to the point that most people didn't even want to have anything to do with me. As the kid that got bullied, the few that dared to get close to me, more or less put their social status in the group at stake by even talking to me. And as a result, I guess I valued their friendship a lot. After all; I knew what they risked.
Coming from that sort of situation, friendship has always been a very important but at the same time mysterious matter to me. Something not be
Art Book pre-orders + lottery winner announcement!About the point lottery:
And the winner of the 300 points is :iconbokunoai:
To join the lottery all you have to do is +fav this journal. In 48 hours i wil use a randomizer to randomly pick a number from 1 to how many favs this journal got and the deviant who's name corresponds to that number will win 300 points
About the Art Book:
Aaaaaaaand i am officially announcing that i opened pre-orders for my art book
The pre-order stage serves also as an order stage, it's from August 20 2014 to September 20 2014, and it's the only time you can buy my art book. It won't be available in any online store. I will keep 30-50 books to sell at Romanian conventions which are Nijikon, Comic Con and Otaku festival. So if you're romanian or intend to go to these convention then that's the only other time you can buy my art book
Actually this is where the idea to make an art book came from in the first place
FREE GIVEAWAY!! :DI never have as much time to give back to the DA community as I used to (being an adult and all that jazz!), and therefore I've decided to hold a simple competition!
The prize will be a 12 month premium membership for DA!!!
To be in with a chance of winning, all you need to do is fav and comment on this journal. That's it!! You MUST do both.
The competition will run for 3 weeks. So starting today, the last day to enter will be the 12th September at midnight GMT
I will be randomly picking the winner with help from a random number generator. I will bestow the membership immediately afterwards.
Good luck guys! And thanks again for all the support you've given me over the years!!!! Much love!
Does talent exist?I know many people have different opinions about this. And here's what i think of it and why. I'll just answer the journal question up front, I think talent does not exist. And here's why:
Let's start with he question, what is talent? It's this magical thing that makes some people learn faster and develop faster than others in different fields. Let's take art for example, there are 2 different artists, both start at the same time to learn a concept and one learns faster than the other. But few people have stopped to ask themselves why that is? Is it talent, or is it something else?
Let me tell you a story about a guy who started an experiment to see if talent exists. He posted an add where he stated he's looking for a wife that will agree to marry him and let him test their children in this experiment. And they made 3 girls. The guy taught them all how to lay chess from a very early age, and lo and behold all of them became grandmasters in chess. This story is real, the guy is
Icon Raffle o vo)b
I really need to practice my pixel art, pfft-
So, I'm raffling off three free icons like this:
(Im also going to make them blink and such, ye)
All you have to do is fav this journal, and I'll pick out the winner in two-three day's time.
I'm also planning on making a bunch of icons for people that catch my eye, and maybe even a pagedoll or two (no examples of those, but hey, they're free~)
So feel free to comment and chat. ov o ) b
Kiwikku's Weekly Giveaway + Kiriban #376Welcome to my weekly giveaway! Back by popular demand, it's my turn to give back to YOU.
Thanks to everyone who already made the previous giveaway such a success!
KIRIBAN STILL OPEN!
The number to reach is 363,963.
In case you don't know, a kiriban is when you watch a person's page count, then if you happen to see the special number, take a screenshot of it to win a prize! You must include the clock in your screenshot to qualify.
As for the point giveaway,
I'm giving away 100 points to one lucky winner and 50 points to TWO lucky winners on 8/28!
One cannot win both the kiriban and giveaway.
Here's how to enter:
Step 1: Fave this journal.
Step 2: Be a watcher.
And that's it! The winners will be announced at the end of the contest. All pickings are done at random so it is fair.
Oh, and be s
5 ways to be more positiveDear, deviantart fellow artists
How to reach the happiness, how to have and maintain the positivity in our creative lives?
It's not an easy thing to stay positive all time. Trust me, I know... so here are some of my thoughts about the topic and I hope that they might be helpful.
1. Get away from negative people
Stay away from those who don't believe in you, who only show up in your lifes when they need something. As mentioned in the latest journal by DamaiMikaz - some people are just pretending to be your friends in order to use you or your skills (don't let them). Be aware of those who are trustworthy and it's said that "person will become the average of their five closest friends".. so be cautious and surround yourself with like-minded people, ones who support an
NEW ART/POINT GIVEAWAY - OPENedit: i'm adding to the prizes!
first place wins: a fully colored half body portrait + 75 !
second place wins: a sketch portrait from me + 50 !
i start school again in a little less than two weeks, so i wanted to put in one more giveaway before i get busy again!!
i'm excited, my illustration classes finally start
how to enter:
to enter, fave this journal!
must be watching me! this is for my watchers, after all.
(optional) you can get extra entries by mentioning your friends in the comments (use either :iconusername: or :devusername:. no more than three extra entries will be given for this (so don't spam people lmao)).
(optional) you'll get another extra entry if you help spread the word! if you mention this raffle in your journal, poll, etc. and mention me or send me a link showing me in the comments
1000 POINT'S + SUBSCRIPTION/S GIVEAWAYIt's been forever since my last GIVEAWAY so I think it's about time I host another one. Make sure you read all of the rules to assure that you've entered correctly! uwu
but first things first
Winners will be determined using a random number generator!
- 3 month sub
- 1 month sub
- 1 month sub
if you already have a subscription or do not want a sub then you are welcome to exchange your prize for the point equivalent. n.n
okay, now for the
RULES/HOW TO ENTER
make sure you read all of these or your entry may not be eligible.
- You must favourite this journal, this is how you get your number.
- You need to make a journal/poll linking back to this journal, you will need to comment back with the link to your journal/poll.
- You need to be watching me.
okaay now that the important stuff is out of the way
watching one of these people is consi
As darkness consumes meConfessions of a broken angel -
1. i cut my finger last night to feel a different type of pain
2. Im slowly getting skinnier...im alittle scared...my lower ribs stick out alittle now...
3. Im developing nightmare-disorder,,causing me to fall asleep at 5am
4. i can feel the darkening thoughts take over my mind
5. my heart was once filled with happiness, now it feels like its poisoning itself each time i have a happy thought
6. i dont bother to try anymore...i try to be strong but life punches me harder each time until i hit the floor
7. Nearly all the time this temptation to scream wont stop.
8. i can see myself getting depression again.
9. i hide the pain behind a fake smile, fake laugh, fake happiness, when my eyes are screaming loudly the pain within this darkness of mine.
10. Maybe i was destined to have darkness follow me forever.....to ensure its the hardest for me to let my heart love another
11. i can feel myself slowly changing.....im scared
Darkness is worse then you could pos
Keep in Touch!
Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More