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What is it like to have depression and Anxiety?Having both is like having a shadow monster at your ankle, never leaving you alone, always attacking you at night, only letting you sleep to have nightmares or night terrors, if you ever go outside even for an hour, the monster will point out every time someone looks at you, everytime time someone smiles at you or even walks past you, you then start to think all the negative and worry and/or panic about the little stupid things. It’s like the only time you feel safe is when you’re lost in your own little world away from all the darkness and horror and troubles and monsters. No matter what anyone says to you, “you’ll get better”, “your fine” “stop moping about you look happy” these words are foreign to you, you don't know how to cope, you seem to be always lost. And as the months…years go by, it only gets worse, the monster grows, the monster invites more monster to join it, and before you know it all your dream
i like drawing and creating art..
but these days it seems to be going nowhere
Too many people are staring into the "professional digital artworks"
What about us?
the non professional ones?
We work just as hard to make our work
We all have dreams to use our art skills throughout our lives
I barely get any feedback these days.. the most ive gotten is 2 or 3 people (if that)
If nothing is going to take me somewhere
If no person is going to look or notice
If the creative ones get passed, un-noticed..
Should i even bother to continue creating my works?
I know theyre not the -professional digital art- or the -professional traditional art-
But in a whole its the best its creator can do.
i am also speaking for those who wonder like me,
Why is it that nearly (if not all) the attention are only focused on those who do courses, on those whom seem professional in their field, who do concepts for games/movies.
Why not rest of us?
We put just as much hard work
We spend just as mu
Im still aliveI only just realized how long it has been since i last posted a picture.. o.0
Not that anyone cared or noticed...>.>
Been busy with alot of things including making more NEW (epicness) artworks,
Ill upload them when i have the time
Which is idk when..
My tumblr URL has changed if your interested.
Me Tumblr.. warning it has LOTSA rave lights.
Feel free to follow me and i shall follow you back.
Please read my post on questions as i am allowing each person to ask me at the most 30 questions.
Because i simple adore being asked things.
Read the post on the main page for more info.
Llama love all around
WallpapersEver saw a picture of yourself, a group of friends, or just something you adore and wanted it to be your wallpaper but nicely edited?
Well i now do that for you at no cost at all~
The above links are 2 that ive done for my mates on Facebook.
Your requested photo(s) can be of anything but NO NUDES!
Either link me the photo or email it to me.
If going to email, send me an inbox then i shall give it the contact to send to.
Each wallpaper takes about 15-30mins to make, so youll have it quickly.
Once completed i will upload, link you the page then viola!
One's DisguiseCreature stalking
Is it imaginary, is it real
Is it something more..or less
We may never know..
Glistening red eyes of horror
Fanged jaw with evil happy grin
To crawl among dreams
To grow in Nightmare
Speaks of words with disturbing effect in unknown language of our own.
To be tall, bone skinned, 2wings of a dying dove
A mind like a zombie
A heart of broken steel
To whisper in one's sleep
To breathe into your soul
To disturb your thinking
Wishing it had some happiness.. to feel alive like it once did.
Blackened spiked tail
Spine jiggered and bare
Hugging you with sense of fear, yet you feel like you know well
It's memories drapes your flashbacks
Thinking through...long and hard
Eyes open wide with shock and confusion
To see who this monster really is, to see it never a monster.
But an old friend caught in their own nightmare's disguise
Seeking help, lost everywhere, turning more
Where there is no cure but to destroy the Nightma
TUMBLRRRRRRRI has a tumblr
*feels proud & part of world again*
My tumblr contains my artwork and my photography with more of both being added soons.
ASK MEH stuff on it.. or the zombies will rape your butt!
Please follow and ill follow you :3
Courses? Plz help!Im slowly getting into doing digital painting/drawing and im really enjoying it,
but i would like to do a course (preferable online because things at home arnt good)
Ive been looking through the internet and not so sure as to which one to pick.
Any recommendations as to what course would be best for me?
Also any particular digital-paint programs/soft wares that would help me?
awsomenessWell finally home from my trip. The 5hour plane flight was pretty okay.
Im open for any commissions and/or requests. (I cannot do humans - absolutely suck at them - lol)
I will be submitting again very soon.
Have alot of drawing ideas and some WIP to upload, so there'll be something to see very soons. ^.^
How to get better at artPeople keep asking me what programs i use, and what program is the best for drawing and what brushes i used for this artwork or that. Those are legitimate questions, sure, but not entirely accurate. There are differences between programs and brushes, but in the end, they are all tools. They are tools artists use to put their imagination onto a canvas. Just like a traditional artist can use 10 different brushes to paint an artwork, or just one single brush, digital art is the same in that regard. There is no one brush that can achieve an effect that none other can. Sure it's a little more difficult if you're using one brush type to draw everything, but not impossible. Artists might have hundreds of brushes in Photoshop but in truth, we use 2-5 brushes the most and those hundreds only in special cases. I personally use a hard brush and a soft brush for 90% of things, what i do change is the opacity and turn the pressure on and off, change the size etc.
And the most common
PureThe thing about getting known is that people say funny things to you. Most of it is bullshit. Some of it is true, and some of it is downward inconsiderate. Some of it does make me think, though.
One of those things said to me, a while ago, was that I wasn't so much of an artist.
That, despite the fact that I was decently known on the internet nowadays, I didn't make actual great art.
(The actual comment phrased it somewhere along the lines of "famous as hell, but still draws like a college art student")
And you know what I thought? This guy actually did have a solid point. The way he worded it down was just... not so clever.
Throughout my life I've seen people with great skills in everything. I've learned soon enough that people typically see themselves as either a left-brain or a right-brain thinker, meaning so much that their either go with logic or intuition, and are often either good with numbers or social skills/art (that come with that). While many of these tests whe
500 Point Giveaway #16: JulyHow to participate:
1. Add this journal to your favs
2. Write a new journal about this giveaway, and include a Mention of me so that I receive a notification of your journal.
3. Include what I do at dATrade. For example:
:icondatrade: is holding a 500 point giveaway! http://fav.me/d7qygpl
At :devdatrade:, you can donate points for an easy way to receive watches, llamas, favs, comments, and critiques!
10 points = 5 critiques / 10 comments / 10 watches / 40 llamas / 50 favs
Go check it out today!
There will be a total of 15 winners who will be selected with a random number generator!
One 200 point winner
Four 50 point winners
Ten 10 point winners
:iconflyingheartsplz: :icondatrade: Alice
200 points giveaway!
Hello, I'm holding a 200 point giveaway for anyone and everyone that wants to participate. It is 100% free for anyone to join in and get the chance to win 200 points!
All you have to do to enter is favorite this journal
After you do that you are in the giveaway
You don't have to comment on this journal, watch me, or favorite any of my works to be in the giveaway (unless you want to do it, if you do I really appreciate it and thank you!)
I will be using random.org to pick the winner
Good luck to everyone and most of all have fun
My Facebook page please check it out and give it a like, I'd really appreciate it
Edit: People are asking about the end date,
Troll pollution?What's up with all the troll accounts of really bad taste lately?
I wish dA would simply ban these people, when they are polluting this site on purpose and act like total jerks screaming for attention? (I mean, it's not even funny at all.) There are these people I have to keep reporting, since they upload commissioned works and my clients are really unhappy about it. Once it gets taken down, I have to report it AGAIN AND AGAIN since it get reposted again!? I have MUCH better things to do than deal with kids like this.
And they accuse the real artists to steal from them when the trust is so obvious? What kind of trolling is that, are they even trying?
And the death threat jokes...
This have gone way too far beyond stupidity x__x
I'm not sure if people realise they can get in LEGIT trouble for doing things like this? (but they are probably too young and ignorant to care) are they really that desperate and have nothing better and productive to do? That's really... sad.
Now it's just extre
Art and overthinkingDear, deviantart fellow artists
There are times when everything goes well, but sometimes It's so easy to let those thoughts (whether caused by fear, life, problems etc.) to overcome your wilingness to do anything. So we let ourselves to get distracted, even though that's not what we really want to do. It's just easier. But we should not let overthinking to stand in our way.
People do tend to overthink all the time. Worrying about unimportant things, while doing nothing about solving actual problems. If there is anything that you think constantly about, that needs to be done - don't put it away till the later. It will only get worse. So often do we regret our decisions in the past, yet we are the only ones who can impact our future.
People also crave for disctractions. That's why probably social media sites are so popular these days. Watching youtube videos all day - It's inspiring to see how other people get success
White knightsI haven't spend much time on my computer last weekend, but enough to see that DeviantArt was kept busy by a troll that apparently did really well for as much as trolls can 'do well' on the internet. A little over 4000 pageviews in just 4 days the account is online proved not only the artists involved in the matter took offense... but apparently a lot of other DeviantArt members as well. Even those that seemed (to me at least) totally uninvolved with the troll or the particular type of art.
For those that wonder about the issue; It's about Foxbun's rather cynical joke about the 'closed species' matter. (I'm usually against name calling here. But this account has intentionally created for its goal. It has been all over the site already and would've been in the comments within 10 minutes, even without me mentioning here. I don't provide a link, though. Use your search engine if you want to research it.)
The term white knight is to most older members of DeviantArt (or the interne
The most amazing thing happened today!This morning, a guy rand my doorbell and i thought that was a little weird because i wasn't expecting anyone. He said he has a delivery for me with 2 tubes from deviantART. I was really surprised because i didn't remember giving my address (it was such a long time ago that i did probably) or didn't remember ordering anything and only until i opened them did i realize they were print gifts from my wishlist! But i have no idea who sent them :icontearyguyplz: They were both prints of this artwork
and i am not sure if there were too separate people who sent them (they appear to have been sent at different times) or one person. BUT WHOEVER YOU ARE THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU WONDERFUL PERSON!
The prints are amazing looking! Kudos to deviantART because the quality of the print is astonishing the prints are on material not paper and that not only makes them more durable but it also has a very neat oil painting feel to it.
This just made my week! I will
CI Give away(Help needed) ends 20 August
Edit: since my brothers laptop got broken he borrowed mine laptop.
the only computer I can use at the moment is my old computer and not fast at all
answering take sometime sorry for the display but I give everyone a number as I can
Hello dear members,
it's time for a new give away
167 people fave my last journal
but sadly 162 People only comment below
so 5 people didn't had a chance to win
so once again take a look at the rules of this give away bellow please remember you need to fav this journal and leave a comm
Rules of the Give away .
to enter in this give away fav and comment on the journal below this is important because you need to get a number from me(if you don't comment you cannot get a number and not win)this give away is only open for members,contributors,admins,and co founders of CI (in order to enter join Creation-inspiration: (excludingmariridoodleparadise and Tsuki-SoraRuki (both accounts are from Me
As darkness consumes meConfessions of a broken angel -
1. i cut my finger last night to feel a different type of pain
2. Im slowly getting skinnier...im alittle scared...my lower ribs stick out alittle now...
3. Im developing nightmare-disorder,,causing me to fall asleep at 5am
4. i can feel the darkening thoughts take over my mind
5. my heart was once filled with happiness, now it feels like its poisoning itself each time i have a happy thought
6. i dont bother to try anymore...i try to be strong but life punches me harder each time until i hit the floor
7. Nearly all the time this temptation to scream wont stop.
8. i can see myself getting depression again.
9. i hide the pain behind a fake smile, fake laugh, fake happiness, when my eyes are screaming loudly the pain within this darkness of mine.
10. Maybe i was destined to have darkness follow me forever.....to ensure its the hardest for me to let my heart love another
11. i can feel myself slowly changing.....im scared
Darkness is worse then you could pos
[transmissions of a dead girl]i am the
moon: i am
the silver pill
to weigh down
into leaden eyes--
i am the
of the dark.
the stars are
all dead in their
you'll be safe, dear,
as i am the moon,
with all of your
(i am good bye and yet,
you think only of romantic
i am the moon.
i am the crescent
and dead altogether,
i still die.
Keep in Touch!