Confessions of a broken angel -
1. i cut my finger last night to feel a different type of pain
2. Im slowly getting skinnier...im alittle scared...my lower ribs stick out alittle now...
3. Im developing nightmare-disorder,,causing me to fall asleep at 5am
4. i can feel the darkening thoughts take over my mind
5. my heart was once filled with happiness, now it feels like its poisoning itself each time i have a happy thought
6. i dont bother to try anymore...i try to be strong but life punches me harder each time until i hit the floor
7. Nearly all the time this temptation to scream wont stop.
8. i can see myself getting depression again.
9. i hide the pain behind a fake smile, fake laugh, fake happiness, when my eyes are screaming loudly the pain within this darkness of mine.
10. Maybe i was destined to have darkness follow me forever.....to ensure its the hardest for me to let my heart love another
11. i can feel myself slowly changing.....im scared
Darkness is worse then you could possibly imagine
Think of all the worse pain and torture a human can go through....
its NOTHING BUT A HARMLESS TICKLE
compared to the true essence of darkness.
I have no one close enough to hold me safe
- to make me smile..for real..
The person i care and adore the most happens to live in a different country....he knows of my feelings but i wish to tell him more....
Why is it that the person your heart loves have to live too far away?
Is this my punishment for trying so hard or my reward for becoming a broken angel again